All it takes is all you got. —Marc Davis
It’s been weighing on me heavy since I finished my race yesterday. I didn’t finish third as expected. I feel like I’m overshadowed by the sisters I racewalk with, who are practically famous for racewalking at this point.. and I’m just straggling behind them. I know for a fact I can catch up to them despite my fear, but I can’t seem to let go of myself fully during a race. I have so many things in my mind I can’t let myself go and lose myself in a race. First it’s getting ahead of the group, then it’s “holy crap I can’t breathe in here the air quality sucks” and then its trying to avoid my coach screaming at me to catch up to someone else; overall, I’m worrying about my form and pace, trying to maintain both throughout the entire race.
I can’t find it in myself to push myself that extra step. The other girls I race walk with are 30-40 seconds ahead of me. only 30-40. I know I can catch up to them, but i’m scared to. I don’t know why. I just am. If I can hit the same times as them during practices, I can definitely hit the same times during a race.. I don’t know whats going on with me.
I’m tired of being out shined and over-looked by my team and the whole county practically. I have to do something. I can’t be scared anymore. If it takes all I got, then I really have to lay my heart out on the track next race. I will.
